Bush and Mush.



Bush: Hey Perve. Ssup?

Mush: Oh nothing much. I’m sitting here twiddling my thumbs. Changing prime ministers is like changing the furniture. It’s that easy.

Bush: You shoulda dunnit a whole lot sooner. How’s what’s-his-name?

Mush: Who, Jamali?

Bush: No, the other one.

Mush: Shujaat?

Bush: Heck no, the other guy.

Mush: Shaukat?

Bush: God, no … Manolo … Mango … Manhattan Singh. That’s it! Manhattan Singh! Isn’t he yer noo prime minister? How’s he doin’? Are you gonna be sackin’ him soon too, Perve? Coz if you are, you kin betcha bottom dollar that the State Department spokesman is just gonna say with a straight face that it’s Pakistan’s own internal matter but whatcha gonna do about Mrs Benazir Gandhi who, I’m told, is the power behind the throne kinda like Rummy ’n Condi and …

Mush: HELLO? HELLO? CAN I SAY SOMETHING HERE?

Bush: Sure, Perve. Go right ahead. What’s yer pet peeve? Heh heh heh. Ain’t that clever? Perve’s Pet Peeve. Kinda smart a me ta think a sompn as clever as that, right?

Mush: Sigh.Forget it.

Bush: I hear you bin on a state visit to Scandalnavia. Aren’t they the guys who’ve named their rivers after the greatest American tycoon of all time, Henry Fjord. Whatsit like ta visit the place? I hear there’s lotsa scandal in Scandalnavia like naked women an’ whippin’ an’ blue movies and lotsa M&Ms.

Mush: You mean S&M.

Bush: Whatever. But what I’d like ta know is why doesn’t Al-Qaeda target them Godless sinners in Scandalnavia? I mean why don’t they like fly airplanes inta their Fjord car factories?

Mush: Perhaps Al-Qaeda has other issues with the US which it doesn’t have with SCANDINAVIA …

Bush: Oh yeah? Like what? They’re rich too, they’re free too, they’re democracies too, they’re —

Mush: (Off line) [BUT THEY DON’T THINK THE SUN SHINES OUT OF ARIEL SHARON’S BACKSIDE!!]

Bush: Fergit Scandalnavia, Perve. How’s this fer a helpful suggestion? Seein’ as you’ve bin havin’ all this trouble with yer prime ministers, why dontcha bring Manhattan Singh ta the US for this great surgical procedure they’re now doin’ at the Washington Adventist Hospital which’ll remove every trace of a spine and guts from his body without any side effects. Condi nearly persuaded me ta try it on Colin Powell when he objected ta the Iraqistan war but then the doctors said he might not regain consciousness and I thought what’s wrong with that and in fact that’d be just fine but then Condi said the press’d git a hold of it and so I kinda dropped it …